Shattered Sun

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Need to get school-work and work-work and photo-work done. But I’m tired. And sleepy. And it’s only 7:30. However, I think I’m going to give in and actually head to bed. I’ll probably get up early and get some work done. You know, just to say I did it. Definitely not overly excited about sleep right at the moment but you ever had so much stress at one time that when it finally lifts, you just feel drained? I think I reached that point this evening. The world finally stopped spinning all around and I can feel my feet firmly on the ground again. That is a wonderful feeling, let me tell you! Hope everyone else is doing grand! Anyone doing anything exciting this evening?

It’s eleven o’clock and is per normal for me, I’m writing this post. I’m not really sure what it’s going to be about honestly. It’s more of a train of thought kind of thing, I think. Currently, my life is unbalanced and it bothers me greatly. I need to get everything back in order and get my routine back. I adore my routine and I never realized how much of a routine I have. I think that’s okay, though. I’d like to think that I can continue to grow and expand and yet keep most of my routine in place. I know that I’ve been kind of saying the same thing for a while now but I really feel like I’m not in control of my time right now. It seems to just get away from me (which is partly my fault as I have quite a few activities that are time sinks). And yet, I still haven’t found just the right system to get it all better. So instead, I’m making short bursts of time to do things that are really important to me. Like taking 15 minutes a day to clean up my house. It doesn’t sound like much, but you’d be amazed with the headway that can be made in those short 15 minutes. And I don’t find myself feeling overwhelmed either. It’s a good thing, let me tell you.

Now I just need to figure out how to find my groove again. Seems like I’m bearing a lot of stress recently because I can feel it in my shoulders/back. That’s where I carry stress. Right between my shoulder blades. It’s a crazy place, really. Anyone else have a place on their body that just freaks out under stress?

It’s been a heck of a month thus far. I won’t go into all the nitty gritty details because some of them I just don’t want up for public consumption. Angela had a very good point when she said you can’t put everything out there on the web. It is kind of scary, if you think about it. And honestly, I figure that there’s just some information I’d rather not share with the people who read my site. Not because I don’t love you guys. No, it’s really because sometimes, I think it’s a case of TMI on the internet. We forget that sometimes, when people ask how you’re doing, they don’t want the real answer. They want the fake made up smile answer. I forget that a lot in life. And I don’t particularly think it’s a bad thing but it has caused me to pause and think about what I’m saying or typing out. I guess you could say that I self censor this blog. I’m sure that feels a little silly at the moment, since I don’t have a huge amount of information out there but it’s a good habit to be into. I’m sure you can understand.

Anyway, I’m off to bed again. Spent the day cleaning (exciting! or not…) and now I’m simply ready to sleep. Y’all have a fantastic Monday! See below for second photo, as promised.

Still working on those wedding photos. I so want to get them just so perfect, you know? It’s to the point of stressing me out though. I think ease comes with time. I’m just not at ease yet. Every time I send the photos to someone, I wait with bated breath. I’m afraid that silence means the photos are lacking. I worry that I’m missing something. Am I communicating? Am I carrying my vision out so that others can see it, too? Am I just dandy but killing myself over this stuff? Probably all of the above. I am my own worst critic. Aren’t we all?

This was taken earlier this month (a little less than two weeks ago) and I’m pretty thrilled with it. I enjoyed taking photos. It was a great learning experience, let me tell you. I’m spending the evening finishing up the set but I thought I’d post this so you guys could see what I’m working on. Oh, and I didn’t lose any weight this week. Silly birthday cakes (two of them, lol) but at least I maintained!