Shattered Sun

It’s eleven o’clock and is per normal for me, I’m writing this post. I’m not really sure what it’s going to be about honestly. It’s more of a train of thought kind of thing, I think. Currently, my life is unbalanced and it bothers me greatly. I need to get everything back in order and get my routine back. I adore my routine and I never realized how much of a routine I have. I think that’s okay, though. I’d like to think that I can continue to grow and expand and yet keep most of my routine in place. I know that I’ve been kind of saying the same thing for a while now but I really feel like I’m not in control of my time right now. It seems to just get away from me (which is partly my fault as I have quite a few activities that are time sinks). And yet, I still haven’t found just the right system to get it all better. So instead, I’m making short bursts of time to do things that are really important to me. Like taking 15 minutes a day to clean up my house. It doesn’t sound like much, but you’d be amazed with the headway that can be made in those short 15 minutes. And I don’t find myself feeling overwhelmed either. It’s a good thing, let me tell you.

Now I just need to figure out how to find my groove again. Seems like I’m bearing a lot of stress recently because I can feel it in my shoulders/back. That’s where I carry stress. Right between my shoulder blades. It’s a crazy place, really. Anyone else have a place on their body that just freaks out under stress?

It’s been a heck of a month thus far. I won’t go into all the nitty gritty details because some of them I just don’t want up for public consumption. Angela had a very good point when she said you can’t put everything out there on the web. It is kind of scary, if you think about it. And honestly, I figure that there’s just some information I’d rather not share with the people who read my site. Not because I don’t love you guys. No, it’s really because sometimes, I think it’s a case of TMI on the internet. We forget that sometimes, when people ask how you’re doing, they don’t want the real answer. They want the fake made up smile answer. I forget that a lot in life. And I don’t particularly think it’s a bad thing but it has caused me to pause and think about what I’m saying or typing out. I guess you could say that I self censor this blog. I’m sure that feels a little silly at the moment, since I don’t have a huge amount of information out there but it’s a good habit to be into. I’m sure you can understand.

Anyway, I’m off to bed again. Spent the day cleaning (exciting! or not…) and now I’m simply ready to sleep. Y’all have a fantastic Monday! See below for second photo, as promised.

Completely bushed and in bed writing this. So, no photo tonight. I’ll put two up tomorrow to make up for it. Thank goodness tomorrow I’m staying home!

I’m going for a drive up through some beautiful countryside tomorrow and now I’ve got to clean my cards off. The batteries have been charged already. I think I’ll be good to go! I’m going to take the laptop and download photos for the Terrors of their camera, b/c you know they’ll be taking some random photos, too. They have Flickr accounts, by the way. So, if you aren’t on their list (and most people aren’t), just pop me a comment here (or via email) and I’ll make sure to get on Flickr and add you. All of their photos are Friends & Family only since they write whatever they want in the descriptions and I don’t want random people seeing that information. Overprotective a bit? Probably. I don’t care. They’re my babies forever and I can be overprotective on the internet if I want. It’s just about the only place they let me protect them anymore. Seems that they’re just growing like weeds!

I’m hoping that tomorrow I might be able to get some photos of them in the countryside, too. We’ll see. If there’s snow, they’ll be out in it for like five minutes and then they’ll be done. Of course. And somehow, Mom taking photos isn’t really high on their priority list, lol.

Still working on those wedding photos. I so want to get them just so perfect, you know? It’s to the point of stressing me out though. I think ease comes with time. I’m just not at ease yet. Every time I send the photos to someone, I wait with bated breath. I’m afraid that silence means the photos are lacking. I worry that I’m missing something. Am I communicating? Am I carrying my vision out so that others can see it, too? Am I just dandy but killing myself over this stuff? Probably all of the above. I am my own worst critic. Aren’t we all?