An odd thing happened this weekend

I opened my email and saw the usual junk items, random forwards, & emails from friends. And you know how Reunion.com sends out those emails telling you who’s been searching for you but you have to pay to see the names? Now, most of the time it’s someone from high school and I can’t guess because the info is too vague. And honestly, I delete them more than I read them. But this time I did read it and in that moment, my stomach started doing flips. The email details: Male, 55 years old & residing in Hermiston, Oregon. It didn’t take a lot for my brain to jump to my father. After all, his birthday was March 9th and he’d hit 55. I didn’t celebrate his birthday except to note the day on the calendar. And here he was. My father was on the internet (shocker) and he was searching for me (bigger shocker). I confirmed my suspicions by doing a search myself with his name. Yep, he resides in Hermiston. What are the odds and what timing! There probably couldn’t be more going on in my life right now. J offered to have us pay for a subscription to Reunion and get my father’s contact email but I don’t know. It’s been 11 years since I last saw him. I’ve married, had two wonderful children, and generally moved on with my life. I worry about upsetting the apple cart. And yes, I’m being selfish. I don’t know if I’m prepared to have him come into my life or my children’s sheltered world. They think that the stories I tell of my childhood really are just stories. I don’t know how they’d react if they met my father and found out they were true. I’m all twisted up inside and I just don’t know what to do.

4 Responses to “An odd thing happened this weekend”

  1. Trish Says:

    You will know inside what is the right thing for you to do..
    Myself i would contact him and tell him that you are ok and just keep it over the net…………see if he has changed from the person you knew and if he hasn’t you can stop it whenever you want too
    If it makes you feel safer make up a new email address with fake information in it eg where you live and stuff

    He already knows where I live by his search and honestly, I’m not exactly hidden on the internet. I’m cool with communicating with him really. I just need to figure out everything in a way that’s completely comfortable for me. Sadly, out of my siblings, I am the one who will be “making first contact” as it were. But he lives about 4 hours from my older brother, so I won’t be seeing him solo if it gets that far. Thanks for your advice! :)
  2. Carrie Says:

    Wow, this must be a year of reunions/finding people. Wow. Let me know what happens, k? Loves Ya!

    I know! Your sister, my sisters, and then this! I think everyone’s feeling some pull somewhere that’s causing this stuff. Don’t ask me what though! Pretty amazing indeed. And I will definitely be keeping you informed. :)
  3. Michael Says:

    If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t contact him if he hasn’t bothered to be in your life for over a decade — especially if you think it’s not gonna help your family. He probably needs some kind of help or something anyway. People never change.

    All things considered, I still love my father immensely. He was always someone that I looked up to. The abuse aside, I always felt like I could trust him. Well, mostly. I guess I’ll always be Daddy’s Little Girl. As for his motive, I don’t know. He’s not exactly someone who comes crying. He’s pretty much a loner who relied on himself to get things done. Definitely follows the If you want it done right, do it yourself mentality.
  4. richard weikum Says:

    I am sorry denise if I abused you, I know that things would set me off and I would fly off the handle (its probably connected to my bi-polar disorder that I mention in my other e-mails to you). This is why I keep my distance from you and everyone else that I can. I am just trying to smooth things over as part of my christian walk. I have forgiven you for anything that has happened in the past. Life is too short to spend it in anger, rage, and hatred. Oh, I have forgiven john and chris too not to mention your mother. I did the best that I knew how to raise you and I probably made mistakes, but that’s life. there is nothing I do change it or correct it. you can reach me at richierichrossweikum@yahoo.com if you want to continue to correspond. Love dad.

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