Been struggling with this for a while…
Friday, October 6th, 2006It’s like a raging war in my heart, mind, & soul when it comes to my career. It sounds dumb because you know, I really thought that I would love being a Career Gal. But I don’t. In fact, I’m coming to the sick realization that I loathe it. I don’t enjoy going to work. There are no bright projects glistening on the horizon that tantalize me into each new day. And the sad thing is, I gave up being a stay-at-home mom when the youngest Terror hit 5 and school age. We figured that it would be okay. We thought that it wouldn’t be such a bad thing but you know, there are times that it sucks more than it’s worth. There’s fighting to get time off for surgeries and school events and why is that? Shouldn’t that be something that is a priority and not something that puts black marks on your record? I work for a good company and the money is good but the trade off hasn’t been what I hoped for. I had hoped to find some fulfillment inside me when I did a job well done. I don’t. There are no pats on the back in my work world. It’s cut throat and evil and pretty much irritating. There are not enough nice people working in the business world. Everyone is out for themselves and I hate seeing that lack of respect for others every day. It makes me miserable.
I’m not as eloquent as Merrin but I definitely can’t agree more with her. The last two years of my life have proven to me that there is more than money at stake when you work and honestly, I want to go back to being a SAHM. I miss it more than I ever thought I would.
