Alone
A couple of days ago I was chatting with a friend and we were talking about relationships. We covered a lot of aspects, but the most interesting comment she made was this: Denise, the happiest I’ve seen you is when you’re alone. It made me think, maybe I am the happiest when I’m not in a relationship. It’s not that I don’t enjoy companionship because I do. I love having someone in my life who loves me and wants to be around me, etc, etc. But relationships really stress me out. It’s like somewhere internally I turn on the “Cop Mode” and I just can’t do anything right. And, as always, I’m way harder on myself than the other person is. It’s funny how that works. Anyway, I could have denied that statement or accepted it and I chose to accept it. It definitely applied, I just had never thought of it that way before. Interesting how friends can get you thinking when they can see the forest and all you see are trees.
September 21st, 2003 at 10:08 am
Maybe you have a trust issue…?
September 22nd, 2003 at 1:34 pm
Hmmm…don’t know myself why you tend to be happier when alone, but I can say that I agree with her comment, you DO seem happier. Maybe it’s just the freedom singles have versus the committment that couples agree to. Just my two cents.
September 24th, 2003 at 2:18 am
Yes, it’s true. You create chaos in relationships. At times you bewildered me with your anger. An error on my part that would generate a -2 response on “a normal person” would be a -8 or -10 from you. (ie you’d go overboard and make a mountain out of a molehill) [think walk across Golden Gate] you’re simliar to me in the fact we self jeapordize relationships. You get to close and you start gettin skippy. I do it myself. Balance is the key. Not to much, not to little. Keep trying, you’ll get it right. you appear happier to others because they notice the lack of chaos. But do not mis-interpret lack of chaos = happiness because that is not a true statement.
WWOTN
September 24th, 2003 at 7:21 am
Maybe in a way you wished that you had the chance to do somethings before you had children and got married (not that that was a bad thing), so maybe your self conscious is trying to tell you those thoughts but your not to sure how to handle them or what they are, and what usually happens is that it come out in other ways, i know myself all the relationships i had in my 20’s and early 30’s sucked so bad cause i felt i hadnt done things, but now with Mick i dont have that, i know i need freedom to be me and so does Mick and we do that for each other, has made my life much easier to live… But then i could be wrong and maybe its something else :think:…..:daisy:
September 24th, 2003 at 1:58 pm
Alex: Bows to Master Trisha!
Wow D! You are surrounded by smart friends to provide you all sorts of perspectives… You know how I want to be Dr Psychology and what Trisha mentions could definitely be an element (not the whole enchilada) to why you behave in that manner.
Alex leaves, tipping hat towards trish…..
September 26th, 2003 at 12:53 am
So when are you going to come INTO the light?
September 28th, 2003 at 5:52 am
well thankyou alex, im just an amateur psychologist, i only go by things that have happened to me…