Shattered Sun

Zack was bit by my mother’s dog today. Well, yesterday, but that’s not the point. I don’t blame Mutt for nipping at him. Sam and Zack have both been in his face for the past month. And after repeated warnings, Mutt just snapped. But I wish it wouldn’t have happened. Zack has been bit three times so far and each time I fear that it’ll be in the eyes, like mine was. I don’t want him to have to wear glasses because of a dog bite. It sucks, let me tell you. I guess I just worry too much that my children will have a repeat bad experience like me. Aren’t all of us parents like that? (Side Note: My mom is so worried about me when she tells me about one the boys being hurt. You’d think she’d be more worried about them)

I miss my website. It’s been down a week and since I can’t fix the problem, I have to move it to my mother’s host. Prohosting is a really good host. I’m just oddly annoyed with not being able to maintain my site on my own host. Very frustrating. And the worse part is not being able to write what I’m feeling or thinking. I mean, I can write it out and put it in later (which is what I’m doing) but it’s so much easier to just type it into MT. Typing out the entries is extremely therapeutic, I think. Anyway, working on it as we speak, err, type, err, write.

Where does one person’s sense of truth end in favor of not hurting someone emotionally? When do you stop and think of your actions before committing them? I think that I’m overly sensitive to the way others perceive me. I don’t want to be perfect. I don’t think that’s possible. I just wish thatI could find that one person who appreciates me being me. Someone who finds me attractive even though I’m a size 12 instead of the 6 I used to be. Someone who find my opinions to matter, even if he doesn’t agree with them. You know, that ideal person who meets you, likes you, and appreciates that you have faults without trying to fix them or needlessly point them out. (more…)